Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
