Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
