I wannas sexs uuuuu
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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