ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
