we're blogging at a bar
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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