Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
