We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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