Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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