I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
