don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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