Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize