Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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