yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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