Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
