how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
