I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
