even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
