are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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