He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
