i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm too high and old for this...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize