guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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