she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
