I am in a vortex of obligation.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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