So drunk its hurt
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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