Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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