Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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