Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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