I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
