Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk