If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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