I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You don't make any sense
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