I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
