I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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