he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
