Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
