Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
