I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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