you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
