He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
