So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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