found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
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Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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