She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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