Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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