I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
