remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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