Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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