In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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