After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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