Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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