Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
