i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
