he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
