In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
His nipple licking is glorious
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