During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
