i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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