where am i from again
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
