Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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