I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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