I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we made out on top of his cat.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
