you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
