Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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