afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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