wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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